I have a confession to make. I have cart rage. It's very similar to road rage, just within the confines of some sort of store with carts. I can't seem to understand why people think it's acceptable to park their carts in the middle of an aisle while they chat it up with their neighbor! It seems like people should just understand that the aisles of a store should be viewed just like roads. Hence, the rules of the aisle are just like the rules of the road. And I am the CHP!!
I have a very elaborate system of cart rules. For example:
- If you have a cart, you have the right of way over someone who has no cart. The cart is less maneuverable, therefore, it's easier for the person without the cart to move around the person with the cart.
- You should drive your cart down the right side of the aisle - unless you're at Target in England and then you can go on the left side.
- Never park your cart in the middle of an aisle to chat.
- If you have to stop your cart in the middle of an aisle to peruse, move it over as much as possible, at all times being aware of someone who may be trying to get around you.
These are just a few - the list is quite long. I actually had a day a few weeks ago where I got very enraged while I was in Target. Mike had to actually calm me down because I was SO close to running over peoples toes! People are so clueless and disrespectful. I ended up talking about my anger management issues in therapy a few days later and my therapist was laughing so hard at all my "rules" she suggested I write a funny book about it. So, I came up with that title. Outside of the cart issues, other chapters will include:
- Elevator Etiquette (you all know how I feel about this)
- Stupid things reporters shouldn't say (like asking someone whose house just burned down, "how do you feel"?)
- Public restroom do's and dont's (Do make sure everything flushes, Don't leave a bunch of your hair in the sink)
It's all very simple really. And if everyone could just follow my rules, the world would be a happier place. Pre-orders of my book will be available on Amazon someday soon!
4 comments:
You SHOULD write a book. I bet it would make you feel better. That way, when you're in Target and someone breaks the rule you can just throw the book at them.
And I agree with all the rules you have listed. I hope that "Don't linger too long with your giant cart parked in front of the cheese section when people are clearly waiting to get at the gouda themselves," is one that you have but didn't list.
I agree. There needs to be some etiquette. I hate it when I have one kid strapped to my front, another one in the cart and like three cases of water, and people expect me to manouver around them.
Oh, I would buy your book for every person I know! This would change the world!!
You know, Laura, National Novel Writing Month is coming up in November, and you have a book idea already!!
Laura, I love it! I feel the same way completely. I have one to add to the list, which you probably already have on there: never let a child under the age of 12 push the cart. I hate it when they push and bump and stumble, etc. It drives me batty, I tell you!
Post a Comment