Do the rest of you have Cinderella fantasies like I do?
I mean, we are totally bombarded with the stories. From Disney's Cinderella with the mice and the cutie fairy god mother to the old school musical version to the musical with Whitney Houston. Then you have others like Pretty Woman (the tv version only, of course) and Ever After. And still others like the teenager versions of She's All That and the Cinderella Story with Hillary Duff. (I love all of these by the way).
I wonder if it's these types of dreams that are setting me up for disappointment. I mean, is it so unrealistic that it's impossible? Is it completely out of reach? Settling for much, much less obviously doesn't work. So does that mean that any good relationship is completely out of reach? Why can't I expect the prince on a white stallion (figuratively)?
I'm not necessarily expecting answers to this, just venting and wondering if I should be mad at Cinderella, or mad at the men who won't live up to the fairy tale?
5 comments:
You know, I wrote a paper on this myth a couple of years ago for a class and was surprised at all the issues this story creates (and enforces) for women.
Be mad at Cinderella (well, not her really, but those who tout her story as the ideal).
Why do we need to be rescued? Why does the fairytale life only happen after marriage? Where was/is Cinderella's power?
Modern versions have tried to make Cinderella more whole as a person, but it still doesn't work because most people think of the original.
Face it, Cinderella was weak and docile throughout her whole story. She was bossed around by her step-family and then, even after the magical ball night, she didn't bother to go after the Prince. She went back to her old life hoping that "he" would come and save her.
What her fairy Godmother should have given her was some self-respect and a good kick.
(Sorry, I have very strong feelings about this whole idea. I think it's done a lot of damage to young girls.)
I hope my comment didn't sound too harsh. That was not my intention.
I'm just frustrated because yesterday I went over similar issues with my office mate (yes, I had to talk to her) because she's, once again, debating going back to he loser ex-boyfriend because she wants to be saved (or distracted) from her problems.
Ugh. If my only options are the myth or a jerk, I'll never marry. And the more closely I look at the marriages around me, the more unappealing it is.
I know there are good marriages. I've seen them first hand.
But so many of them remind me of a parent/child relationship (where the woman babies the man), and that makes me want to gag. I thought this occurred only in older marriages, with long-married couples. But, I’ve been noticing it in a lot of young marriages as well.
The more I’ve been talking with married sisters in my ward through visiting teaching and the like, the more I’m less than thrilled with marriage. Having to push the guy to go to school, pick up after himself, help around the house, not be gross, etc. is the same thing I’d have to do with a son.
But, I know this is my view and my issues. So, you can/should ignore everything I’ve written.
Well, give up on Cinderella, obviously. Fortunately fairy tales are always complete fabrications not applicable to real life...otherwise you'd always be afraid to visit your grandmother or try to fend off a mad bear with a bowl of oatmeal. My view is, don't be expecting someone to madly adore you and treat you like a delicate flower form the day you meet - just go through life with the attitude that you are out to make some good friends - and treat guys you meet as potential friends, and not as potential Prince Charmings. The whole thing becomes a lot more enjoyable (in my opinion).
I agree with Wendy. Listen to her.
There is so much I could say, but I don't want to offend anyone. But I will say that marriage is wonderful if both people give 100% and treat their spouses with respect. I'm sure I just opened a can of worms with that one. Sorry.
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