Drug-Induced Stupor

As you know, I have had major insomnia issues for the past couple of years. I've tried many, many over-the-counter and prescription drugs to help remedy this. Sadly, most of them don't work. One of my favorites, though, is Ambien. It's a narcotic. Probably my favorite of the entire narcotic family (except maybe what they were shooting into my IV after my last surgery). A lot of times, it doesn't really do anything, but when it works - it REALLY works! About 10 minutes after taking it, I get very loopy. I don't really know exactly what that word means, but it describes the feeling so well.

I feel kind of out of it...like I'm there, but not. My eyes play tricks on me. It's as if the floor and the furniture come alive and start to move. If I try to walk to my bedroom, I feel kind of dizzy and run into walls. I am not kidding - this is the effect it has on me.

Now, as a reference point, know that I have only consumed alcohol one time in my life. Let's take a trip back to the olden days - 1989 to be exact. I was 16 and on my European tour with my high school choir. One night, in England, we all decided to go to a pub. There was this very large punch bowl with some sort of concoction in it. I decided to drink for my first time to impress a guy who was drinking for his first time to impress another girl. Stupid, I know, but true. I remember drinking a wine glass full of the mystery juice and even finished my friend's drink. All I remember about being tipsy was feeling very warm and sleeping a long time the next day. I don't think I felt any of the Ambien-related effects.

Another effect of the Ambien, along with the furniture coming to life (and no, this is not an adorable story line of a Disney movie - trust me), I also seem to have black outs and memory loss. Here's the story: A few nights ago, I took my Ambien at about 9:00. The next thing I remember was waking up at about 2:30 am and the first thought I had was "Did I talk to Alissa last night?" (For those of you who don't know, Alissa is a fabulous new co-worker). I immediately dismissed that idea, because it wouldn't be a usual thing for me to talk to her in the evenings. I didn't think any more of it really, until I got to work. As soon as I walked in, Alissa came up to me with a funny smile on her face and said, "how'd you sleep last night?" As soon as she said that, it started to come back to me. She had to review our entire five minute long conversation before I vaguely remembered talking to her. Kind of embarrassing, actually! I'm sure I sounded all doped up and groggy!

Anyway, the moral of the story is...if you'd like to see your furniture move, have short-term memory loss and sleep for 4-5 hours, then Ambien is for you!